:(

I just read back over some old blog posts.  I read one in May saying that I was moving out in two weeks.  Ha Ha Ha, boy was I wrong.... a lot of variables have to fall into place just right for me to actually move out; and, for a while they were bouncing around rather than falling anywhere.  I am so close now that I can taste it, and we really have stretched this relationship to its limit.  There seems to be no more give and postponing the move again just really seems too unbearable.  The only thing that will slow it down is that the day the apartment becomes available, I have school and work and won't have time to move for four more days.  But, if I just get the keys in my hand I will be so relieved...  Strange, I still feel like this is the worst thing in the world, but I am looking forward  to it at the same time... boo.

hanging on to hope...

Our kids are so fantastic, they are keeping the love and fun going in our house.  This has been a longer process than we needed in the end and there are around 4 weeks left.  In classic form there is another two week delay, but, I feel pretty confident that this will be the last delay.  (haha confident in plans hahahaha).  Trevor is getting so stinking smart and sweet.  He just hugs and kisses and tries so hard to be "good".  He reminds me of Taylor a little.  I got Taylor registered for school and will have a meeting with his principal on Monday.  He is excited a little and I suppose I am ready.  And Jewel, whew, what a mess.  She is just hilarious and lately everything she says is a joke.  Or asking to be made "oh so pretty".  From her nails to her hair.  Her language skills are just exploding and everyday she says things that catch us off guard.  I am so lucky to be where I am and I still can't wait to see where we will go. 

He is so proud that he reached the weight that he discussed with his pediatrician and he can pick me up and carry me, no problem.  I am not so sure how I feel about the fact that he is just a 1/2 inch or so taller than me. 

impatient...

ok, so i changed it...no point in waiting anymore.  there may be more changes as my life evolves.  i am excited about some of the changes.  soon, i will have a degree and hopefully i can find a better job over the next few months.  it will be hard and sad and unfun in a lot of ways, but it also has the potential to be better than it has been in a lot of ways.  we'll see!!

i haven't decided yet, but i think i may change the name of the blog.  i won't be homeschooling any more after this summer, well, not officially.  and, i will have my own place, so things will be different, hopefully better than they have been.  i still don't think that i will create a new blog, i definitely want to continue with this one, but, there will be such a different story going on that the title will no longer fit, and really the introduction needs to change too.  i don't know if i will make the change now or wait until i move, probably sooner, because i will be so busy after the move. 

dad makes good...

trent took these pictures today...

too many thoughts, too little time, and no words to completely explain...

we need to take some pictures for the blog...

that's what I told trent before running out to weight training class.  i have been working every night until 7 until last week (got two days off).  needless to say, the kids go to bed when i get home and i am up to my eyeballs in homework and errands.  i knew this was how things would be, just another reason that i didn't want this...anyway, here we are, and as we adjust to the new normal, we need to start including the blog again.  soon, things will be changing again, but the move keeps getting pushed back (not because we are reconsidering the divorce, just because we hate the impact it will have and financially it is difficult).  i suppose we will just have to face it as it comes.  for now, there is a lot of "fantastic" going on with the kids and i would like to capture it on the blog. 

it is the 12th!!

wow!  time is really flying by entirely to quickly.  i wish i could slow things back down to the pace we all once enjoyed.  just thinking about the way things were makes me sad again.  but, things have been going the way they need to.  i haven't had to call in to work, despite the van and the durango both breaking down.  i have a lot of little things piling up on the to do list, but i should have time in a few weeks, because calculus ends.  now, back to studying...

it has been a great week, one of the best in a really long time.  I hope things keep going this way through the weekend!