what i'm up to right now....

new everything...

I did not want to change the kids' routine any more than I already have with my school and work.  What a complete change this is from the plans we had when Jewel was born.  We have been relatively successful at keeping things the same for the kids.  The only thing that changes for them during the week is where they sleep.  So far, the weekends have not changed, because I work all weekend.  I have reduced my hours recently, and hope to find a different job soon.  It doesn't have to be "better", I just need to work different hours.  If I can find something soon, I will be able to keep the kids more often.  It feels strange to say "the kids" too, because it feels like the last time I really "blogged" I was still calling them the "babies and Taylor".  I really despise time sometimes, haha.  I started to loathe this blog for a while.  It is like a stab in the heart to read old posts.  I am getting hopeful that I can make things "good" again, we are, it seems, heading in the only good direction left.  I still hold a little hope that we can somehow turn this around, but I don't think I am capable of going back to the person I was.  Ok, enough of that kind of talk.  The kids are staying again tonight, so I will try to take some pictures.  We still have some things to move in and unpack, but so far they like staying with me, which is a relief, but perhaps it is still a novelty.  We did manage to place things at both houses that make them feel like home, and that helps.  They haven't been behaving differently (yet) except that Jewel has taken my spot in the bed at Trent's.  Trevor loves my apartment and begs to stay all the time, but we are trying to remain firm on the schedule, mostly because we have to.  Yes, it breaks my heart.  I think that I can get myself through the last of this semester, but not sure how my GPA will survive.  I had hoped to leave here with a 3.8, but it looks like I won't.  I will have to see how things work out.  I have a lot of schoolish issues to take care of, transferring, graduating, etc.  So, not that much going on, haha.