The only child of mine who still participates in watching Saturday morning cartoons is Jewel and even she did it with a Nintendo DS in her hands. She was playing a Diego game. "Can you help me play dis game, Momma?" Trevor played it until he couldn't take it anymore then he woke Taylor up. "Taylor, if you get up, we can play racing!" "Mom, I need the nunchuck for this game." Yes, Trevor knows how to play on his own, he just hates to do it. "Do you want eggs for breakfast?" "No, I need two hands for this!" Ridiculous. Even Taylor wanted breakfast before playing. Video games are addictive, for real.
"The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those who feel." Horace Walpole
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHH!
Just a little scream to relieve some anxiety. I really have a hard time with not knowing what is next. I don't know how ready I am for this semester to start. I was ready when the last semester ended, but so much has happened over this break. I spent so much time at the beginning waiting for all of my various plans to come together, just to have it all tossed in the air and caught in a different order. Trent changed his mind about things a hundred times and I didn't know what to decide at any given point. Life even threw in some fun little surprises and not as fun lessons that were unrelated to the marital/financial/getting my own place struggles. I actually spent months trying to find the best way to get my own place because I thought that it was the one thing we needed most. Then, when I found a solution that I could tolerate the consequences of, just when I started the process that would make it all possible, life started hurling things at me. Crazy, typical, I should be used to this. Then, when I finished catching and juggling all the things I could, and I thought I had everything settled into place, Trent came along and started rearranging things. Don't get me wrong, I am glad he did, but for everything that he moved, I had to move something too. The entire process has been exhausting for everyone. I think that I am finished juggling everything for at least two semesters, thank goodness, but seriously who can relax. I mean, I can see life standing right there, just looking at me sideways with those dark eyes. I see the ammo, just waiting to be hurled. And, I am about to start another marathon of school , cleaning, kids, and exhaustion. I hope I can keep one eye on life, but that is going to be tricky. I feel like I used to just before a majorette competition or swim meet, or just before I stepped into the saddle (or just before a test for that matter). Ready, but not; confident, but not; I am sure I will give it my all, I am sure I will try my absolute hardest, I am sure that I have prepared thoroughly; but, I am not sure that I will have enough of what I need to finish where I want to finish. I need A's, I want a scholarship. I refuse to let the kids' education suffer, the mess isn't going to clean itself, and Trent is working through his busy season right now. Not to mention our other goals for our family, and the fact that our delicate dance between caring for each other and needing separation may hit some less than graceful steps... Hmmmm, furious circles of thought are forming again. There is nothing to do at this point but brace myself and dive in. So, deep breath, quick stretch, smile for the neurological buzz, and here we go!
Monday, January 4, 2010
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