Mimi is here!

so...

Change is coming, and we are mostly ready. While we will still be partners in parenting, and it is certainly not the best option or the one we hoped for all those years ago, we have decided to reside separately. It seems that, despite our valiant efforts, we are unable to maintain this relationship to a standard we feel qualifies marriage. We are now going to make every effort to work together to provide our kids with as much of the love and benefits of a two parent home without actually being that.A  steep challenge, but we should be able to come pretty close. We are going to keep our priorities in order and we are changing as little as possible for them, of course, they will not see me as much as I would like, but I hope to remedy that as soon as possible. The timing is horrid, with me starting school, but I need school more than ever now, and the timing isn't going to get better. It is very sad, almost impossible to bear, but, we didn't make this decision lightly, and it is time. I remember saying, shortly after Ethan died, "I wonder if this will be the end of our relationship." I had known others, my parents' friends who lost a child, and all of them were divorced. And, it was rough, too rough, i suppose. And here we are, still cleaning up the pieces. Sad, so extremely, heartbreakingly, gutwrenchingly sad. I am really not sure that I have fully allowed myself to feel all that is there waiting below the surface, but it is probably best to take it slowly. I have learned that, at least.

Christmas is almost here...