Thanksgiving....

The good, the bad, and the ugly... The good; it was so crowded and there was so much food that "meat" was not only not noticeable, it wasn't even an issue. lots of family, lots of conversation, lots of love... The bad; i lost my patience with the "socialization" conversation and said very loudly, "that is a big fat myth. socialization is the act of socializing, and it doesn't require a school full of kids or even have to happen everyday. and what am I...he talks to me everyday." The ugly; hmmm, i don't think there was anything ugly. i guess i should have thought that through more before starting. oh well, no time to fix it. there it is. i talked about the ridiculous holiday called thanksgiving.

Nothing but pics,

Just playing a bit of catchup....

on courage...

****Warning: if you are a christian, and you like me, and you want to continue to like me; read this with an open mind. Consider if the situation were reversed and it was your child being berated. Or just don't read this entry. I have more to add about the "magic", but now is not the time. I just want to steal a second to record (for posterity) the bravery Taylor demonstrated. He is not a fighter, nor is he prone to confrontation. Before we started homeschooling, he was prone to crying when insulted or picked on at school and, in general, was the opposite of a bully. But, still he is always up for approaching a strange group of kids and asking to play along. When we got to the park yesterday to meet the homeschool group, there was already a group there. About 9 or 10 (apparently from a christian homeschool group) boys and 5 or so girls, with 4 moms. Our group in the new county is mixed, some "secular" some christians. It hasn't been a problem, Taylor doesn't bring it up and so far none of the other kids has. But, because our group hadn't arrived, Taylor ran over and began playing some imaginary "war" game with the boys. They were already playing it, and I heard one of them say to Taylor, "grab those logs, soldier." Fine, let them play, whatever. After about an hour, I noticed that Taylor was watching but not playing, and the boys were fighting with big limbs from the ground. Morlynn was with us, but was just watching. I was talking (naturally) with the moms from our group, and noticed a smaller boy jump on Taylor's back. I didn't think much of it. Taylor threw the boy to the ground, said something, and walked away. He didn't seem stressed or upset or scared. But, he did quietly come closer to us and sit down. I wondered why he was not participating (I thought some one was "picking on him" as usual, he is a little weird to other kids) so I asked what happened. His response, "Christians, mom, their christians." I was shocked. "Why does that matter?" I asked. "Well, we were playing and I didn't want to fight with the sticks because they were really hurting each other, and they asked why I wouldn't play with them. I said I don't want to fight with sticks, and they asked me if I was a christian. I said, 'no.' And they started yelling at me and arguing with me." This of course is the shortened version, the entire incident took place over about 30 minutes. The boy who was questioning Taylor was 14 and very big. His little brother is the one who jumped on Taylor's back. They started with the usual threats that Taylor is going to be tormented in hell. To which Taylor responded, "I don't believe in hell either." And the yelling began. Taylor said that the boys didn't know the age of the earth, and that he asked them to "give me one piece of evidence that proves God exists". Obviously, they said "he created all of us." Taylor said they yelled at him that the bible says this and that, and when he got tired of the attack he responded with the typical 11 year old retort, "The bible is a pile of crud." Which, obviously infuriated the two boys. (They asked Morlynn if she believed and she said she did, so they told her she was safe to go play.) Taylor also told them that when they die, they can "fly down here as angels, to prove to me that God exists." No surprise that that is when the boy jumped on him. They said they would "beat him until he believes". Taylor knows he is not allowed to fight or curse, so he didn't. He never cussed, he just doesn't (I really wouldn't care much, as long as I didn't hear it). But, after informing the littler boy that he knows how to fight and the boy was not going to be able to "beat him up" he walked off. As Taylor walked away the older boy called him a jackass. I found out about the jackass part as we were loading up to go home from Morlynn. After I informed the boys mother that her son said that (I was sure she would want to know the truth about her son's language and behavior), she made him apologize to Taylor. I made Taylor apologize for saying that the bible is "a pile of crud". And spent the ride home telling Taylor that I was proud of him for standing up for his beliefs and for not fighting with the boys. I told him that I was disappointed that he said something insulting about the bible, because he shouldn't resort to silly attacks like that and it is rude to insult someone's beliefs. But, can you blame him. He told me that he tried to use logical arguments but the boys just said, "that's not true, you're stupid," etc. I also had to explain that although their belief doesn't offend us, our non-belief offends them, and there was likely nothing he could have said differently, except to lie. I told him not to take it personally that they called him "fat", "blubber belly", and "stupid". I had to tell Taylor that although there are lots of "reasons" we believe the way we do, those boys probably don't know why they believe what they believe (they believe because their parents tell them to), so they had no choice but to attack him. Taylor was decidedly christian 3 years ago, when I began to "come out" about being atheist. Until then, I was not christian, but I did believe in a superior/higher/godlike power. I just didn't believe that the bible summed it up. When Taylor was a tiny baby, I knew I would let him research all the religions of the world and decide what he wanted to believe. So, when I told him that I don't believe in any "supernatural" power of any kind, I told him, "I could be wrong, you believe what you want." Through the years of learning more about history, religions, science, and life he has gone from believer, to making up his own "religions", to not believing. He chooses what he believes or doesn't believe. When the boy was apologizing, his mother told him he was acting "of the flesh", and that "no one will want to come to know the god you know, when you call them names." Whatever. Even when she was calling him over to ask what happened he yelled back to her, "no." As if he didn't have to listen to her. I am not trying to start a war between myself and my christian friends, but seriously, teach your kids tolerance. Christians want to talk about "threats to their faith", but what about "freedom of religion".

This Week....

Oh seriously, you knew it would happen again. I tried all week to post as I went. Then I thought, I'll just write separate posts for all the things I noted this week. But, now I'm tired and I have a lot left to do before Tuesday. Also, everything really just fits together. It is hard to separate the kids from each other, or the "magical moments" from each other. For instance, I was sitting in the hallway (because that's where Trevor wanted to read his book) and the pink sham that Nana made for Jewel caught my eye. I thought, "Wow, Jewel is so lucky, the woman she shares her name with made her a curtain for her room. When she is older, I hope that help's her know how special she is to us." Then, as we are reading, Jewel is next to us chattering away the cutest nonsense I've ever heard. Then, Trevor notices that she is in his pajama shirt. He grabs my face (one hand on either side) and directs my view to his shirt. (The one on him.) He says, "This is my ball shirt. Do you wike my ball shirt? It's got a wot of balls! But, Jewel can't wear my snake shirt. OK?" I had to explain that the shirt doesn't fit him anymore, and that Jewel needed it last night. (We were at Mimi's and she took a bath there and needed something to wear home.) Umm, I don't think he cared. And still 5 days later says she can't wear that shirt. While this is happening in the hallway, Taylor is making cinnamon toast for all of us. How wonderful. I get up and think, "OK, enough of the sentimental 'enjoying the magic' crap, I have work to do." But the minute I get started on something else, Jewel comes into view with a hairband around her waist and thigh. Meanwhile, Trevor is now at the table insisting that there is cheese in his scrambled egg. (There isn't, eggs alone have enough fat. But, I used to always add cheese.) I tried for a few minutes to explain that I didn't put any in it. But, eventually we agree to disagree and he happily eats his eggs (with no cheese) with cheese in them (while I laugh at Jewel trying to remove the hairband now). But, not before reminding me that we are "having to make cookies in a whittle while". He drags out the whiny sounding 'while' just enough to make it irresistibly cute. (This may not sound magical to you, but while I'm in moments like this, it feels like a warm blanket in the safest bed in the world.) So, snap out of it, finish the laundry. As I walk back through the living room, there is Captain Cute. He thanks his bubba for the toast as he stands at the table between (almost gone) eggs and cinnamon toast. His leapster is in his hands but the TV caught his eye. He says, "Mom, that's a submarine. It goes underwater, wike dis 'shewsh, shewsh'." I say, "You know, Mommy had a job on a submarine when I was younger. I was a sailor." To which he replies, very matter of factly, "No, you can't be young. You hafta just be mom." Hmmmm, lets just get the laundry finished. Then, (15 min. later) it's time to start the "school day" so to speak. Taylor and I stretch out on the floor cushions in the library to read from the Human Anatomy coloring book. (ha ha, it has text too) We are just figuring out how goose bumps are made when Jewel comes over and shoves a dinosaur in my face. "What's that", she chirps. "Dinosaur," Taylor says as he gently moves the sharp tail away from my eyes. (I am smiling from ear to ear by now, and thinking, man my kids are great.) Trevor is now on the couch "coloring" on the leapster. Jewel proceeds to climb on both of us as we read and when that fails to get her any attention, she runs off to make a mess in the classroom. That is when I realized what questions Taylor is asking and how much he is understanding. (He makes homeschooling easy.) And, I just smile again to myself. We moved up to the artshelf (that's what we call the table/workspace that Trent built for his 'desperate for room' wife) to color and label the drawings. I, of course, set out to finish this and that. 10 minutes later, Taylor still hasn't started coloring, and I can't even get mad about it. He is sitting on the couch with Trevor learning some French words from some preschool show. Then, they (all 3) chase each other around the living room for 10 minutes. Then, he finally sits down to finish the drawings. Then, (more 'magic') as he colors, he talks non-stop about all the parts and the stuff he learned yesterday about them online, and "when I finish, I just show you, just real quick." So, of course I let him. But, as we get to the classroom to look online, Trevor is strumming (loudly and destructively) on the "play" guitar (a real guitar, but from a pawn shop and not anyone's 'important' guitar, just for playing with) and singing a song that he made up. "The Trevor the Daniel" song. Jewel is playing the maracas to accompany. After a short family concert, Taylor shows me the hair folicle information and then "somehow" gets permission to play a game, until the cookies are ready. Oh yeah, so I baked the cookies. That is pretty much how the "magic" fills my days, until the 'stress' is allowed to filter in and disrupt it. I am getting better at not letting the stress completely wipe out the magic. But, for me that is hard. I like having a plan, and following it. Well, that is the beginning of the "magic" that I noted last week. I'll have to finish this on the next post...